This is a little piece of folly I came up with one day. Completely and utterly JUST for fun, here's to you:
All is Fair in Love and War
My workday started normally enough with a phone call from my boss, Mike.
"Bless'd," he said, his voice even more gruffy than usual. "Get your ass up here, Jer. We've got one you need to pick up."
Normally, Mike wouldn't need a phone. His voice is the trumpet of the last judgement, after all. A pity the bastard is so fond of modern technologies. I was still jiggling my little finger inside my ear canal in order to get my eardrum back to normal when I stepped over the threshold to purgatory. Maybe I was a little preoccupied like this, or maybe it was the lack of sleep after a night with the three rabbit shifters Mike had sent my way yesterday, whatever the cause, I bumped into something solid that was blocking my way.
"'scuse me," I said automatically, thinking, what idiot left that pillar standing here after redecorating the apsis, and a moment later, what kind of an idiot am I to apologize to a pillar?
Mike's voice boomed from his usual place in front of the Golden Gates. "Get him out of here quick, will you?"
I cornered the stray pillar and looked along the waiting line. The usual flood of white flamelets, interspersed with the occasional golden, grey, green or black. No pink. My co-workers from the other departments were busy zooming in and out of the crowd, picking out their charges.
"Mike? There's none of mine," I shouted over the hustle and bustle, and he waved his flaming sword impatiently at me.
"Right behind you, dumbass!"
Behind me was that pillar, right? I turned and noticed this particular pillar had feet. Really big, ugly, dusty feet with thick, blunt nails. I looked up, and up, and up, and - you know what's next, right?- up. Massive calves, horny knees, gargantuan thighs, a dangling firehose of a penis, a mountain range of stomach, chest and neck, all of it covered in thick, wrinkled greyish hide, ending in a bare summit that had to be that guy's head. Way, way up there I saw a pinkish glimmer.
"Get him out, you sorry excuse for a demon," Mike yelled. "Can't you see the clouds are about to give way beneath him?"
Indeed, there was a serious dent and a swirl of dissolving clouds under the giant's feet. I waved at Mike to signal I had understood, and poked the guy's shoulder, for that was as far up as I could reach. "Let's go."
He grunted, a noise like distant thunder, and followed me. With every step, his feet sank knee - deep into the tough clouds and pulled free with a squelch. I've never been more grateful for my wings.
To my relief, we reached the solid ground of my office without any major damage to either the cloud path or my charge. I sat behind my desk to have a good look at him, catching myself right in time before I asked him to sit down on one of my visitor's chairs. He didn't seem to mind.
I gave him a thorough once-over. After having worked as shifter-sifter for several millenia, I can normally not only guess what hides inside on first gaze, but also their outcome. This one was easy enough. He had huge ears that seemed to flap every time he moved his head, making his flamelet flicker. A long hooked nose with a soft tip that hung down almost over his tin-lipped mouth. As he stood in front of my desk, he swayed, the tip of his nose swaying in the opposite direction.
"So, which do you wanna be," I asked. "Human or elephant?" My question was merely a matter of form; I had already picked up the red wand that would complete his change so I could forward him to Nate and his happy hunting grounds.
"Dunno," the guy said, his voice a soft, lilting tenor where I had expected a rumbling basso. "How's it like being an elephant?"
I couldn't help a snort. "Now you tell me that," I said.
The guy shook his head. I wrinkled my brow.
"Get your head down so I can look at your flamelet," I said.
Instead of bowing, he knelt, with amazing ease and grace for such a big guy. I rounded my desk for a closer look.
Now this was strange. Normally, their flamelets were all shades of pink, from almost red (usually the bird shifters) to almost white (mostly the wolves). I could tell from the color as much as from their physique what they were going to be. This one's was a light, whitish violet with hardly any red. I'd never seen such a hue.
"You're a shifter, right?" I said. "So what's within you?"
He looked up at me from small, brown, thickly-lashed eyes. "Me. I'm always me."
I huffed an impatient breath. "Shift, then," I said. What a dumbhead.
"Can't," he said. "It's day, isn't it?"
"There's nothing like day or night here," I growled. "Shift, or I'll make you."
He didn't react. I reached for the golden wand I wasn't supposed to have (shifting someone against their will is beyond my security level, but hey, after being around long enough, you ought to know a few shortcuts around official paths). He didn't move, just continued to watch me with these alert, cunning eyes which did so not fit into the rest of his backward attitude. I had to lean across him to get to my desk drawer, and he turned his head a bit, nudged his nose out of the way and snatched my dick with his mouth.
Now that stopped me. Cold.
I'm a winged demon, okay? Normally I don't wear clothes to work, and neither do my charges, which has surely lead to some memorable events in the past. But this brashness was without precedent. Neither had I ever come across (or inside, for that matter) such a clever mouth. He had me panting like a dog in next to no time, and when I looked down at him, I thought my eyes might pop out of their sockets from the sight of the giant, pink-tipped flagpole that jutted up from between his thighs.
His wet tongue licked and swirled around my shaft while a the same time he kept up a delicious, hard suction, bobbing his head back and forth. The tip of his nose seemed to have a life of its own as it stroked the spit-wet upper side of my cock while the velvet of his tongue rasped along the underside, forming an undulating groove for me to slide in. I gasped, blindly scrabbling for purchase on the desk until both of my hands grabbed the edge, giving me leverage. I fucked his mouth, unable not to, and he didn't fend me off, just put his coalshovel-wide hands on my hips and went with it. I felt the heat, the pressure, rise in my testicles until I was ready to erupt like a volcano. Right when I sucked in the last wheezing breath that would come back out as a scream with my release, I was suddenly in the air, doing a somersault over my desk. I crashed into the far wall, his fingerprints on my hips giving proof of what had propelled me. I shot my load all over the place and myself, roaring from lust, shock and pain as the door to my office banged open in front of a pair of snarling, death-confused weretigers which my elephant guy took on with a trumpeting warcry.
Well, I somewhat lost track of the things going on around me after that. By the time I had recovered enough to find my feet and my bundle of wands, Elephant guy was patiently waiting for me, one growling, clawing beast under each arm in its own headlock. I dealt with the tigers as fast as possible, changed both their flamelets to white and sent a sheepish, but happy looking fully human male and female pair of souls their way back to purgatory.
That left Elephant guy and me. He sat down on the floor, cross legged, and grinned up at me as I wiped congealed seed from my face and chest.
"That was quite the performance," I said, sorting through my wands. "I think I owe you. In a couple of ways."
"Liked it, didn't you?" he said. "Well, I only just started." He waggled his eyebrows at me, licking his lips. The tip of his tongue sneaked up and flicked the tip of his nose.
Aiming for blankness, despite my cock's reawakening interest, I said, "You still haven't shifted as I told you to."
He laughed. "Haven't I, so?"
I realized he had a point. There was nothing left of the clumsy halfwit he had appeared only a short while ago. His eyes were sparkling from mischief, and his grin had definitely turned into a leer. I waved the golden wand. "Would you mind..."
"I can't, I told you," he said. "I've been cursed, if you must know. I can only shift when it's night, and if there isn't such a thing here...you better make me shift right now. Because one of us is going to get fucked pretty soon, and right now I have about one hundred pounds on you, so you can make an educated guess at who."
I stared down at his...thing and had to swallow at the thought of getting that monster shoved up my ass. Then again, on the other hand...
He rose to his hands and knees and started to crawl towards me, rumbling like he had back in purgatory. Hastily, before I could change my mind, I hit him with the wand.
There was the usual pop, and a sizzle, and instead of my thickskinned, long nosed giant a slender, smooth, gorgeous god of a man licked his way up my thigh.
I moaned loudly as he sucked me between his now-full lips again, his hot human mouth not less skilled than his elephantine one had been. After a while, though, I pulled his head back by his long, jet-black waves.
"Let me lock the door," I rasped. He smiled a sultry, heavy-lidded smile.
"Hurry," he said.
Never in my life had I locked a door and unplugged a phone faster. As I knelt down behind him, lining my spit-slick cock up to shove it up his puckered, sweet little hole, he looked back at me over his shoulder and winked. I pressed into him, watching him wince at the sharp burn this had to cause and then his features slacken with lust as I slid deeper, and to the hilt.
There I stopped. "What's your name, by the way?" I asked, my teeth clenched from the effort to hold back.
"Ganeesha. You can call me Ganny," he said.
"Nice to meet you, Ganny. I'm Jeremiel, Jer for my friends."
He gave an impatient huff. "Whatever. Move, or I'm gonna go nuts here."
I did. He was delightfully tight, and hot, and he made little squeaking noises every time I gave a deeper thrust and hit his sweet spot right. I paid attention, changed the angle, and soon he wasn't squeaking anymore, but the noises flowed together to long cries that had an odd trumpetlike quality.
He came at least twice until I was done. I dropped on top of him afterwards, too exhausted to move.
"Well," he said after a while, wriggling out from under me. "It was sure nice meeting you, but I've got to go now. Thanks for my salvation, anyway."
"Wait," I said, crawling to my feet after him. "You can't simply walk out on me. Things don't work like this over here."
He gave me a sultry smile. "You bet I can." He pointed to his head.
It struck me then who he had said he was. An actual fucking god. Different lore or not, gods are immortal in anyone's book. I held no sway over him in this form. Except if...
He unlocked the door and gave me a parting wave.
I can move really fast when I want to, and I managed to get him with the golden wand before he had both his feet outside my office. Plop. Sizzle.
My elephant guy towered over me, sulking, flamelet back in place.
"That's not fair," he said.
I grinned at him. "Anything's fair in love and war," I said. "Besides, I've changed my mind. My ass would like very much getting acquainted with your cock in the near future."
His nose twitched, and the firehose between his legs mad a genuine effort to do the same, yet to no avail.
"Demons," he sighed. I rose an eyebrow at him, and he laughed and hugged me. When he kissed me, his nose was a bit awkward, but we managed.
"Okay," he said. "Being cursed has its merits. But, could you do me a favor? I really need to return to my own realm now and again."
I shrugged. "You make an oath to return, and I'll release you. Now and again, that is. When I'm done with you."
He scowled, and I leered and tugged at his fast-hardening dick.
Well, that's how I came by Ganny. People round here have become accustomed to my silent giant following me around, and no one ever asked where he has gotten to when I'm with my beautiful divine companion instead. My folks know I'm a little weird. Time and again I release him, and he goes to wreak havoc elsewhere. Still, I like it best when he wreaks havoc with me. And do you know what? He never broke my wand, despite the fact that in his immortal form, he easily could.